To Kill a Mocking Bird or Love Yourself...

I spent the night watching Documentaries.
I watched a number of them over the past few days.
Since I have felt like I have nothing better to do with myself I might as well educate myself.
Well, tonight I watched a documentary called Hungry For Change

It was actually quite inspiring which often times I get inspired in certain ways by watching documentaries or movies etc, hell I watched Orange is the New Black and thought shit maybe prison could be a fun life adventure. Luckily I don't always listen to myself. :p

However this film really I feel made an impact. 

Particularly at the end when the elderly woman spoke about loving yourself.

That has been something I have struggled with for most of my life. 

Loving myself. 

Its not easy. 

In fact I can easily say I downright hate everything about me....

but maybe...a different mindset is in order. 

I have been going through a really tough time mentally and physically for a number of months now ever since my separation with a 2 year boyfriend that left me both heart broken and financially devastated. 

I have been wanting to make a very drastic change in myself for a long time.

both physically and mentally. 

 I feel like maybe there are some small elements, small steps I can make now that could greatly impact my mental state as well as my physical being. 

Something as simple as eating healthier and taking walks. 

I need to get active and change my life or its not going to be much of anything pretty soon.

I used to be a very motivated girl but I often get crushed under my own mind.

I have built quite the penitentiary in my head and think its time I put my mind on probation and eventually set myself free from....well me.

After the film ended I was drinking Arizona tea which I must say I am pretty addicted to. I turned the can around and read the ingredients. I promptly stood up and poured almost a full can down the drain and said no more. I start now. 

I want to start now. Not put it off like I have been doing with my life.

Today I also experienced a quite needed pep talk by a guy who has increasingly become very important to me and does so more by the day. 

He inspires me to be the me I have wanted to be. 

I feel truly inspired by him and this film today think its not too late for me to make a change.